Four Thoughts

1. I loathe people who tell me that they are "born again ________s." For instance, this afternoon I overheard someone tell another that they were a "born again Christian." For a moment, I turned to get a nice, long look at this character. I then imagined them putting the frigid, business-end of a pistol between their teeth and fingering the trigger gently; finally, yanking the action enough to plunge a life-ending bullet through the back of their throat. Then, of course, I had to appease my imagination with thoughts of an elaborate birth; one in which this character emerges as a new & improved human being. At this point, I opt to figuratively shoot this person in the back of the head and ponder what they'll come back as next. Frankly, I just think "born-again" is lacking in terms of metaphoric-relevance. Creativity shouldn't settle for less.

2. Birthdays mirror our society insofar as they provide an outlet for our narcissistic (see: self-absorbency, egocentricity, conceit, et cetera), and inherently vain natures. Is it important to reflect on a year passed? Yes. Period.

3. Truth (remember, Katy?): I often write things in the margins of my readings that are relevant to my then-present state of mind, though not the text. In the future, I wonder, will anyone pick up a treasured text of mine and ponder what it was that the reader was responding to? In an monomaniacal (see: obsessive, aggrandizing, freaking the fuck out about shit) sort of way, I find pleasure in knowing that I could alter one's perception of something; that I could prompt a response to a text that would have not happened if not for my irrelevant mark-ups. Funny world.

4. I believe in the certain sense of process that our world revolves around. Think about it: we process(ize) everything. Thoughts, words, sounds, sights, smells, shit. We age and mature in a fundamentally procedural way (birth: tit-milk>>walk>>talk>>potty training>>adolescence>> sex>>booze>>internship>>job>>kids>>debt>>401K>>golf-outings>>bourbon>>retirement>>death). There is a process for everything. This, and only this, is what distinguishes you from me, her from him: OUR PROCESS. Our inconsistencies in operandi may be the intrinsic cause of earthly evil, but such petty misunderstandings need only simple explanations on behalf of the parties in angst. Next time you want to fight, or yell, or scream, and bitch: don't. Smile, and recognize that you are you.



I'm nineteen today, but I feel like I'm 48.




MH: "I saw this wino the other day. He was eating grapes. I said 'No, no, no man. You gotta wait!"